Who Says Cleaning Has to Be a Chore?

My house was getting out of control messy. We’ve been really busy lately and have had a lot on our plate. I haven’t had a lot of time to clean lately and my children – well they’re children! They won’t clean most of the time unless you make them!

I don’t know what it was – but I had this idea flash across my brain to just do a “quick” clean-up time with my girls and me. I wanted to try and make it bearable and at least a little bit fun (as fun as you can make cleaning up.) So I came up with the idea to clean-up to our favorite songs. We would blare our music very loudly and each one of us would start cleaning up in a room. No one could be in the same room – we all had to start in a different room of the house. Every time the song changed, we rotated rooms to the right. So if I were cleaning the kitchen and the song ended, I would move to the living room and pick up there until that song was over.

I had originally intended to clean up for only 3 songs. I wanted to get some of the major things done and not make it too prolonged for my girls so that REAL progress would be made. But to be honest? Those 3 songs went by so fast that we added on 3 more songs! We’d each be in a room and it felt like you only had time to pick up a few things before the song was over.

When all was said and done, my house was looking a little less sloppy. It wasn’t completely “overhauled” and perfectly clean, but a good dent had been made. And that was what I had hoped for.  And you know what my oldest daughter said when all was said and done? She said, “Was this YOUR idea?” When I confirmed that it was, she told me I should write about it. She thought it was a good idea and it was actually fun. My youngest (the one who hates even the word c-l-e-a-n) agreed! Fun!! Imagine that. I had made picking up fun!

We did have a few rules. No one could claim a room was clean without getting me to check it first. And if they thought everything was picked up then they could instead dust, sweep, or wipe.  You could leave the room you were in in order to throw something away or put it away correctly in its proper room.

I definitely think we will do this again.  It’s a great way to avoid fighting or “selective” cleaning up. Everyone is involved and has to chip in in ALL areas of the house.  No one was in a bad mood when all was said and done and I felt a little better about the status of my house.  All it took was a little bit of creativity.

Who says cleaning has to be a chore?

The Gal My Son Dates

For every mother the time will come when her son (or daughter) begins to date. It can bring up all sorts of emotions and feelings. You can be amused by the new excitement that surfaces in your child and over their preoccupation with this other individual. You can get frustrated because they develop a new kind of “forgetfulness” or seeming uncaring attitude towards things that don’t have to do with this new person in their life. 

Whatever and wherever these relationships go, it is important for you to develop a relationship with this new young man or lady. In my case, it was a young lady. I decided that I wanted to get to know her – to invest of myself into her. Yes, it was a risk. She could have refused my intentions or even worse, they could have broken up and then not only would my son be heartbroken, but if I had developed an attachment – I too, would be heartbroken. But I took that risk anyways because I believed it was important.

In this day and age there are many ways to get to know and develop a personal relationship with young adults. You can email, get on myspace and start getting to know them that way, chat with them via an instant messenger system, or do it the old fashioned way and take them out to lunch (WITHOUT your child), or to a movie.

In my case, my stepson ended up marrying the young lady he dated. And the time I spent investing into her beforehand paid off because she knew I cared and wanted to get to know her for her.  She is now truly an extension of my family not just in name, but in my heart.

Take the time to get to know the people your children date. Show them you care about them not just because you have to, but because you want to. Develop a relationship with them that is separate from your child so that they feel like they can be a part of your family.  Whatever happens, there are never regrets when love is involved.

Take a Look Back

As our kids grow older, it seems like sometimes we strive to find ways to connect with them. Their peers grow to be more influential and important in their lives.  They have their interests and hobbies – which take a great deal of their time, thoughts, and money.  So how does a parent “connect?”

A great way to get on your child’s level is to watch movies with them.  Yes – movies. Most children, from ages very young to teenagers, love movies. And you can use that love for movies to get inside their head a little bit.

If your child loves guitar – get some old Elvis Presley movies to watch with them.  Does your daughter like to dance? Find some musicals or older dance movies with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.  Computer? There are many movies that center around computers, and robotics as the theme of the movie. How about horses? There are so many horse movies out there. Are they very “into” their social world at school? Give some high school themed movies a try.

If you can find older movies that your child may not be familiar with, you will tap into the past allowing it to come alive again and not be forgotten. You will also provide yourselves with a great opportunity to talk. Your child will probably have interesting thoughts about the movies you watch together. Did they think it was dumb – not realistic? Did it inspire them in some way to work harder at what they love? Could they relate to the character in some way that gets them to share their emotions and feelings with you?

Give it a try. Invite your child to a movie date at home with you, some popcorn, and their favorite subject as the center of attention. Watch together and allow the movie to take you into your child’s heart and head for a little while. You’re bound to value any information you can glean that keeps you – or gets you – close to your child as they mature and grow. And the more you understand them, the more they will listen to you as you seek to guide them.